goodbye old friend

I have blogged on this before a couple years ago but there's been a finalization to it that I wanted to follow-up on.

I developed a friendship during college that neither one of us saw coming. It turns out that I at that time looked an awful lot like one of the administrators for the student body. I recall a particular student insisting that we had a conversation in my office and he wanted to follow up. I had no idea what he was talking about and no concept as to where my office might be. I was unable to convince the student was not who he thought I was so I "made an appointment" with the student and told him to be a my office at that particular time. I then proceeded to do my best over the next few weeks to find out who it was the student thought I was so I could meet this person and apologize, and possibly laugh over the fact that this student showed up for appointment that I had made.
Well we did meet and we became great friends.

Over the years I got to know his family and he got to know mine. I would hang out with him at his house, I worked on his house, and ate there often. I also would stop by his office while I was still at school and discuss any number of topics like any good friend does.
I left at school after a couple years and continued elsewhere but our friendship remained. Over the next few years as I entered in the ministry he was involved in many discussions and debates over where it should be of what it should look like. I became a sounding board for his concepts regarding the administration of the school and things that he would want to try or do and how to present them to those in charge.
Our families became friends, I knew his wife and children well,he knew my wife and children.

I was there for him when he left Ministry he was in and went into secular work for a while. It was a tough time for him personally and for his family. Over time you decided to go back into Ministry and again we walked through some pretty difficult times together. I continued to see him on a yearly basis and we would communicate over the phone numerous times throughout the year.
Then one day I made a general phone call to him and it turned out he was leaving. Not just leaving the church he was in but leaving the state is moving literally thousands of miles away. I was shocked, not just that he had decided to leave his church, but that he was moving so far,and if I hadn't called I probably would've never found out about it.
I called more often over the next few months as you is packing to find out more about how he was doing and how the family was doing to make sure we stayed in contact. I was also starting to think that if I wasn't the catalyst for this information I wouldn't be getting the information.

I began to think through our friendship and began to see that over the last few years it was a friendship that I was maintaining. It wasn't a depressing thought but it became obvious to me that the friendship might be coming to an end. Friendship like any relationship has to be interactive, it can't just be something you know it has to be something you live. I enjoyed our friendship but it wasn't a mutual enjoyment anymore. I decided to let a move and after the move purposely become less involved in the maintenance of our relationship.
My suspicions were confirmed when the only information I got from him was the obligatory e-mail to his entire address list regarding this new address and phone number, and the typical form letter at Christmas time with the family photo.

I did respond to the e-mail, and each Christmas letter I received over the next three years, I never got a return response. I did call him twice and left messages but once again never heard personally from him. In a weird twist I found out about his daughter's wedding from his future son-in-law who invited me to the barbecue. I appreciated the invite but found it ironic that somebody I had no relationship with was asking me to come to celebrate the wedding of my old friends daughter.

This year I received a letter from him and it wasn't Christmas. Curious I opened it and found it to be a request for money. I was amazed at how much it hurt me, our friendship had been reduced to being a resource. I was actually angry which surprised me given the amount of time it'd been since I've had any contact with him. I found it ironic that in the letter I was described as someone he thought to be interested in the activities of his family. He was right I was interested in the activities of his family but he was the one who wouldn't tell me what the activities were, and now I guess the only way for me to find out about his family was by paying for that information through supporting his new Ministry.
I wrote back, it was personal letter and it took about four rewrites before it finally said what I wanted to say in a way that I thought to be appropriate.
I let them know that I was not willing to be a resource without being a friend. I let them know that being a friend takes time and effort, and if only one of us was willing to put in that time and effort than it's really not a friendship. I let them know that I was willing if he was to restore our friendship to its former place and enjoy the continuing journey together.
I had a gut feeling I wouldn't hear from him. I also had a dim but optimistic hope that I might.

It's been a month now
I don't think he's going to write me back.

Goodbye old friend,..... I really do enjoy the memories of the times that we were close.
I truly hope you have found a friend that can journey with you now.

nutshell of truth

don't take my word for it But in a nutshell.

It is my understanding that over the last hundred years there has been a gradual shift in the way that people receive and defend truth. This philosophical change will take probably another 50 years to complete, depending on how long those who hold the old modern process of truth live.
The modern era's concept in obtaining objective truth was to define indisputable foundational facts. These facts were then used as a foundation(hence the name) and the basis to build all of their other beliefs and opinions on. Because these facts were considered to be absolute truth the logic was if we could give these facts to those who didn't have the truth (because we were smarter or had better connections to God) they would have to agree with us, become part of us, or in their ignorance continue to live apart from us.
I could break this down for you with a variety of examples but that would take a lot of time, but I have no problem verbalizing some if we ever meet.
I find most of the Christians that "embarrass" me are Christians that are desperate to hang on to their old "modern" approach to defending their faith. They believe that by being right they cannot be questioned therefore they can be rude, aggressive, isolated, and of course in their eyes lovingly share the final truth with non Christians or wrong Christians.

This shift in philosophy to what has been commonly call a postmodern approach has affected every area of society. In the Christian culture this shift in how we interpret truth and defend truth involves far more than just the facts. Our truth is obtained through a variety of inputs, or filters that allow us to question what we believe, or questioned what other people believe, and do so without breaking relationship with others or with God. It also gives us the opportunity to adjust our behaviors, and our beliefs throughout our life without destroying the we are, or who we were.
My understanding that life is a journey,and that oftentimes many things that we hold onto as truth may turn out to be more complicated, completely untrue, or not as vital to who we are as we once thought them to be.
In our Christian walk this means much of what we believe we take on faith. We walk it out in our personal journeys to make adjustments based on the relationships we have and the circumstances we live in,or experiences we have had .

Having come from a fundamentalist, very conservative background I know that short of a very powerful move of God most people in the "modern" culture cannot be argued into a more personal and holistic faith. For them to change is for them to admit they were wrong, and unfortunately that means tearing down everything they've ever lived for, or believed in.Their concept of objective truth would be thrown out and that can not happen or they think it means God would be thrown out as well.for some even the concept of dialoging about such things is absurd...unlesss you change your mind and agree with them in the end.
I truly feel sorry for them, and I hope they can experience the fullness of joy and of faith as I have.God is bigger than a list of facts and way bigger than my brain can contain .I do still believe there is absolute truth but how I get it and if I get it I am still working on.
I hope this nutshell helps bring some understanding between you and some the "others" in your life.


Well without getting crazy that's all I have for now

Youv'e arrived?

the concept of arriving is seductive in its simplicity.
I remember her as a child we took a yearly trip to Florida. This trip always took place in February which was the slowest time of year for my dad's business. My dad always joyed leaving first thing in the morning, to him this meant approximately 3:45 a.m.as we would pile into the backseat of our car along with a cooler full of snacks and drinks we would begin our journey. Sometime around 7:30 a.m. would stop for breakfast and I would begin to inquire as to how our arrival. Usually this particular question would be phrased "how much longer till we get there?"to which my father usually had a very precise answer depending on where we were and he knew exactly how many more hours we would be on the road, to a boy of eight or nine years old it all sounded like a thousand more hours. :-)

What we would arrive at our destination which was usually a beachside motel my dad would go nap in the room while my sister, my mom and I would go to the beach we would all rendezvous later for dinner.
We had arrived it sounded like we would be there, we wouldn't leave this place and yet we all know that wasn't true. Vacations don't last for long, at lease ours didn't and it wasn't like we could spend all of our time in the motel room. There are places to go to eat, to shop, even on the beach there were things to do, observe, and enjoy.
Then vacation would end, and we would enjoy another 23 1/2 hour trip back to New England.
we would arrive at our home unload the car reclaim our bed and settle back into our "normal" life.
Arriving at home still meant we moved around a lot. There were things to do every day, places to go people to see. Staying at one spot even in our house wasn't something anybody did for very long,Unless you were sick,or severely injured.

I would imagine this makes sense to a lot of people. In our everyday world we know that we never really sit still for very long. And even if we are sitting still we are probably also keeping track of several websites, listening to music, keeping track of twitter comments and in essence we keep moving.
In our spiritual life sometimes some people want to arrive....... and stay still.
It sounds so good the concept is seductive. The idea that we can get to a point spiritually where our questions have been answered, we are comfortable, and we don't have to go anywhere. This sense of spiritually arriving only make sense if you are, very sick, or spiritually injured.

Every spiritual principle I know of found in the Bible carries with it the concept of a journey. And although spiritually we may find points in our journey where we hang out for a while we don't actually sit still even while we are there. We can't involved in a variety of things that enhance our spiritual journey and develop relationships with activities, people, and events that help us move forward in a spiritual way. we may even have what we call a spiritual home but unless this spiritual home is also a convalescent home we should be moving toward greater spiritual life.

One of the underlying concepts behind the word "Elevate"is the idea that we are seeking to keep moving in our spiritual journeys. There is an idea that were not striving to go up, then by standing still we will begin to descend.
If you think you have "arrived" and you have begun to die.