was it me?

I was contacted the other day by a man in his mid-30s. This man had been a part of a youth camp staff that I was overseeing back to my 20s.

This man had been trying to get a hold of me by phone for several months I had no idea why, and he never actually told me why. He finally decided it would be best to send me a long e-mail.
As I read the e-mail I was somewhat embarrassed that I hadn't made a more concerted effort to call him back. He recounted for me a very significant exchange that he and I had, while he was working for me all those many years ago.
My encouragement to him was one I probably had given a hundred times to other camp counselors before and since. I basically told him that camp wasn't about him hanging out with his friends but about him hanging out and developing relationships with campers. At that moment he said he stopped talking to his friends and moved over to a group of campers and began to enter into dialogue/relationship with them.
He evidently continued his quest to develop relationships with students and now in his mid-30s has been a youth minister for many years. Something so many youth pastors cannot say because for many youth pastors their motives are for greater significance.

When I think about my life and spiritual position at that time I ask the question was it me?
was it me who spoke into that life of a young man and began to change his approach to Ministry. Was it me that he was watching as we spent many hours of every day working together at a youth camp helping students and other staff members to walk closer to God. Was it me that he really wanted to be like as he sought out additional training and ultimately dedicated his life to youth work.

No

I will admit back in those days I would've wanted it to be me. I was so full of my own spiritual wonderfulness that I would've gladly taken credit for the inspiration that anyone could've passed my way. I wanted to be inspirational, and believe myself to be inspirational for any and all were able to come across my path.I wanted to be the grandson that every grandparent wished they had. I wanted to be the husband that every parent wished they had been able to find for their daughter, but I was taken already. I wanted to be the youth speaker that every youth pastor wished he could book for his next event, and every pastor wished he had as their youth pastor.

I was just arrogant enough to believe that I had answers to people's questions and just knowledgeable enough to be dangerous in taking on anyone's issues or problems. I worked hard, preached hard, and believe with all my heart that God in some way needed me to do His work.
I wanted titles, acknowledgment, recognition, and opportunities. I would have gladly taken credit for the inspiration of any young man choosing to go into ministry because of what they saw in me. I would've turned that story into some sort of the sermon illustration so that even though I was supposed to be talking about God somehow I would be able to share the spotlight and talk about me.

What an arrogant, ignorant, punk I was.

When I read his e-mail I was amazed by God's grace. That God took where I was and somehow use it for his glory is once again a testimony to God. I was humbled by what God took out of me and transformed it into something that someone else could find significance in.I am more convinced now of God's ability to use the simple, base or ignorant arrogant punks of the world to do what He wants to do.I know he also has the ability to take those who may be highly intelligent and wonderful people to do what He wants to do, but of course those people would never tell you because unlike my old self they would be too humble to admit it.

I am glad for the journey I've been on with God. I know that I made a lot of choices that caused me to believe lies that convinced me I was someone God needed in order for his plans to survive. I am so glad God was gracious enough to me to pull me out of that miry clay, and onto a path that he has chosen.
I am happy he called one of his children, and I am glad and honored that He would use me anyway to accomplish a plan that He could clearly accomplish without me.

So to that young man in his mid-30s, I appreciate the e-mail

But it wasn't me.

March 14 elevate review

At elevate this week

We took a look at the general excuses/reasons Moses gave God as to why God was making a mistake and asking him to go back to Egypt. Moses knew that he could not show up under the authority of his own name. He had done this the last time in his own power, and concept of rescuing his people yet committed murder and become feared by the Hebrews and hated by the Egyptians. So God answered him with the name that has become revered highly amongst the Jewish traditions the name "I Am"
with that settled God reviewed for Moses is wonderful plan on moving the people out of Egypt into the promised land. He did make it clear that the king of Egypt would have trouble letting them go but God would put the king under pressure and ultimately they would be released.
Moses Then argued that he would be called a liar. He probably was fearing the memory of his last attempt would cloud peoples opinion regarding his motive for this attempt. God responded by giving him two miracles to perform, one was turning his walking stick into a snake and then back to walking stick, the second was turning his hand from being clean to being filled with leprosy and then back again, and a third one was promised that if he took water from the Nile god would turn it into blood.
Moses then appealed again to the fact that he no longer spoke fluent Egyptian. He was probably unaware of the latest customs and would be offensive to the Egyptians. To this excuse God got angry and agreed to allow Moses's brother to be his spokesperson in front of the Egyptian court.

Moses brought his entire family which involved a wife and two sons.
On his way to Egypt Moses had forgotten, or possibly put off to a more convenient time something that God had required of all Hebrew babies for many years. The circumcision of male babies to recognize the covenant between God and Abraham.Moses's son was done on the road, just before their arrival in to Egypt.it seems that his delay in obedience was grounds for death as far as God was concerned. The way the Hebrew tradition puts it God litter really had a hold of Moses's throat and was going to kill him, so his wife preformed an emergency circumcision and threw the skin on/at Moses his feet so the angel could see that it was accomplished and Moses was released. (A weird little story that most preachers tend to skip)
I think it speaks to the fact that many of us get called to do something big for God and we forget all the little things that God expects us to do as a regular part of our lives. Those little things are what allow us to have the conduit of power and blessings from God. It is not only important to maintain our daily walk with God when we are living a normal life it is also very important to maintain those daily routines if were called to some form of earthly greatness.

When he arrived Moses was greeted warmly by his brother. His brother believed that Moses had received the call of God and supported him wholeheartedly. Moses then went with Aaron to the elders of the Hebrew people, and they also received with excitement the leadership of Moses and the potential of moving out into the promised land.
Moses and Aaron went to the king on a wave of popularity and blessing, and immediately were shot down and dismissed. I do not blame the King for not recognizing the Hebrew God as someone to obey, and I imagine it would have been cultural suicide for the king of the Egyptians to just do what ever anybody wanted based on a belief that their particular God told them so.
In response to the desire of the Hebrews to go worship God for three days in the wilderness, the Egyptians gave the Hebrews even more work to do. Their logic was that if the Hebrews had things to be thankful for and to celebrate they clearly were not working hard enough for the Egyptians. This made life very ugly and brutal for the entire Hebrew nation throughout the country of Egypt.
The Hebrews responded understandably negative toward Moses and Aaron's leadership. Moses in turn responded very negatively toward God and asked a very reasonable question. He basically said if all you wanted to do was make life worse for the Hebrews why did you have to send me ?

In general we saw a couple basic applications.
When God asks you to do something he will equip you to do it.
When you are accomplishing a task for God did not forget to do your daily routines to stay connected to God.
Knowing the beginning (everyone will believe you) and knowing the end(you will move into the promised land) does not mean that everything in the middle will go smoothly.
The call of God is not an event but a journey, so walk on.

but I thought

a particular passage in the book of Genesis always catches me a little offguard.
Because I know
Relationships, the development, restoration,and illustration of them in Scripture are so vital to picturing who God is and how he works. Because relationships means so much to God I have always slightly surprised when I read Genesis Chapter 21.

In Genesis chapter 21 God confirms to Abraham that he is to break relationship with Ishmael and Ishmael's mother Hagar.
Abraham first hears about this from Sarah his wife. It is not unusual for me to hear things that God wants me to do through my wife. I have no problem imagining why Sarah would want any competition with the promised son Isaac removed from the camp and take away any possibility of confusion regarding the inheritance or blessing of God.
Given the earlier story of how Haggar and Sarah did not get along, to put it mildly. The fact that Sarah had Haggar so emotionally distraught that she ran away into the desert with no supplies and almost died with her infant child in her arms.
The fact that Haggar had mistreated Sarah to such a point that Sarah beat the slave girl/Egyptian princess into submission and ultimately drove her away.
I am sure there were many slaves who celebrated the birth of Ishmael with excitement knowing that one of their own had given birth to a son that was promised to inherit the immense wealth of Abraham as well as the promises of God.
I have no doubt that the House of Abraham was divided, and probably filled with many innuendos, bad blood, sarcasm, and a whole host of relational destroyers in the atmosphere.

But despite all of this, I still am amazed that God agreed with Sarah, confirmed it to Abraham, and sent Hagar and her teenage son on the road by themselves back to Egypt.

When is a relationship no longer worth any more time, prayer, or effort.?
I personally have no idea. I trust the fact that God does and that's why he confirmed such an action would Abraham. I know in the end Hagar gets all turned around in the desert, her and the son are dying of dehydration and ultimately God hears the son crying out. God intervenes saves both the child and Hagar and ultimately blesses Ishmael with a nation of his own.
But
I also wonder how confused Abraham must had been. The questions that he must've had in his mind, well at least the ones I imagined he would have in his mind as a father, and covenant holder with God.
What would happen to his son, his firstborn son? What would happen to this Egyptian princess who was the mother of his firstborn son and evidently held a pretty high position within the hierarchy of servants and workers within the household of Abraham?.or was Abraham's faith so great that once he knew what God wanted to be done he did it, and trusted God with all the details.
He rose up early in the morning, which basically means he did what he was told to do immediately. There is no fanfare, no big farewell banquet, just an immediate obedience to what God was asking them to do. I still have no doubt that this was difficult. I still personally cannot put together all of the layers of emotions and thoughts that I'm sure were interwoven into that final morning as the sun was rising and he sent Hagar and Ishmael on the road.

My main questions for Abraham, and myself are these.
Did he know but was too afraid to admit that that relationship was not good and had to come to an end?
Do I know when a relationship needs to be ended, or does God need to confirm it a couple different times before I do what I know should be done?
Do I trust God enough to break off a bad relationship and believe that God will still provide for, not forget the one from whom I am separating?

February 28 Elevate review

On this particular night we moved Moses out of Egypt into Midian, then back to Egypt.

We see that Moses ran away/was chased away from Egypt because his desire to bring justice to the Hebrew people was met with resistance and anger by the Hebrews, and then of course you is a murderer and therefore would be murdered by the Egyptians.
He headed across the desert to place at would allow him some form of anonymity, and evidently maintained his look and position as an Egyptian rather than identifying himself as a Hebrew.

When he arrived or sometime after he arrived he was able to rescue the seven daughters of a priest. It is conjectured at the priest was not well respected in the land because his daughters were abused or pushed around by the male shepherds. Although no one really knows for sure why they were disrespected the Jewish tradition speculates that it is because he had given up overseeing the worship of idols and instead began to seek after one true God. By leaving his post as the priest the people of that area would have been offended and disrespectful toward his offspring. This would be in contrast to if he was a respected leader in the religious community then being/having the opportunity to be related to him would've been something that other shepherds or males in that area would have sought after by showing kindness to the ladies.

Moses took up a new job with this priest Jethro. With his education and expertise and leadership Moses soon oversaw all of Jethro's endeavors in the land and brought much wealth to the priest. In response to that Jethro granted Moses the opportunity to marry his oldest daughter. Moses and his wife had two sons, and a thriving business to oversee.

After what many believe to be about a 40 year period of time. (Which to someone who is 43 is a very long period of time:-)) this life that Moses was living and living quite well was interrupted by a unique/miraculous event. "The burning bush" which of course was not actually burning but only look like it caught Moses's attention as he was supervising the caring of the flocks. As he approached the Bush the Lord spoke to Moses and explained to him his desire to send Moses back to Egypt in order to rescue the Hebrew people out of the hands of the Egyptians.
We explored the various emotions that Moses would be feeling, and the conflict that would be going on in his mind. He'd come to this area after running away and probably losing hope that he could be used in any way to help out the Hebrew people. He probably had felt some degree of waste regarding his education and power and authority.
Now after many years of establishing himself as a good father, leader, and businessmen God's timing is ready for him to read into this stage for which he was born.

Moses reaction to God's call was to resist on many levels. He resisted it because no one would believe him. He resisted it because he was wanted for murder. He resisted because he didn't think he would be able to speak well enough anymore.
God Was not convinced.
the other thing that we saw was that the original request was not for complete freedom, but for a three day vacation for the Hebrews to worship God.
We saw that within the production consumption philosophy of the Egyptian world there was no time for anyone to relax or to worship God.
We noted that one of the most radical commandments that God will give to the Hebrews later is the idea that they should take one day and not produce. But they should take one day and just worship him. That Sabbath would be a continual reminder to the world around them that they will be trusting God to provide for them and not be slaves to the constant need to produce in order to survive.

We then reviewed the idea that many times we are in similar situations to Moses. We have to some degree walk away from our education, associations of authority, or have done things that seem to have taken away our ideological plan to change the world. We set up ourselves on the far side of the desert carve out a life to which we can have some degree of success and we hope to get by in such a way that eventually our kids will be happy.
so we know that what Moses struggled with is similar to what we struggle with as we at times feel irrelevant, or no longer valuable to the overall plan of God, or his purpose to bring about change and rescue to the oppressed of this world.
we identified that God's timing had not changed. That had Moses stayed in Egypt he probably still would've had to wait until the pharaoh had died. He still would've needed the call of God, and the opportunity to be accepted by the Hebrew people. He just would've come at it from a different direction than across the desert.
We need to remember that although we may feel like we are separated from the plan of God, God has not separated us from his plan.